Tuesday Writing Prompt: Using Photo

Yet another Tuesday writing prompt from Deb Anderson's Blog. The words I derived from the picture were: Misty, Boat, cold.

Here goes nothing . . . A soft-of How-To Memoir, based on real experience! LOL! :)

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Sleeping in a Hammock
with a Sleeping Bag in the Sierra.

It's not easy, somehow crawing into a sleeping bag in a backpacking hammock, but I've done it many times. It takes dexterity, but is well worth the effort. Sleeping in a hammock is one of life's wonderous experiences, but it can get cold at night in the Sierra Nevada, and so a sleeping bag is mandatory to keep the slumberer warm in those cold, and sometimes misty, evenings.

After first checking my hammock for snags, tears, or rips -- and ensuring the ropes tight and secure -- I tuck the sleeping bag into the hammock end to end, and then gingerly sit in the middle. Next, leaning back, I slowly release pressure on my feet until I am laying sideways in the hammock on top of the sleeping bag. The sleeping bag may slip toward the center, but it is okay to ignore that for now. The important thing is, your ass is holding the sleeping bag in place within the hammock.

I then roll sideways slowly, letting my legs slip up over the edge of the hammock, and pulling the netting back behind my head. The ropes may squeek between the trees at this point, but you can ignore that as, in the first sentence, you've already checked the ropes and are certain that they are tied securely, correct? Pull your shoulder toward the open end of the sleeping bag, and then rock back and forth, like you are in a little boat, until you are laying on your back on extended sleeping bag.

Shit. I forgot. I was supposed to unzip it the sleeping bag first. Well, I can . . . uh . . . reach down here and . . . yes. Now I begin to tuck my feet into the sleeping bag without upsetting the hammock. (If I forgot to untie my shoelaces, I'll need to start the entire process over again.) Now I kick off my shoes, tuck my feet inside, pull the netting of the hammock around my sides, and shift up and down until I'm safe inside. Now, reaching down slowly, without turning too far over (to avoid a spill), grab the zipper handle and pull upward.

Boys, when you have to go to the bathroom at night, simply extend your manhood out of the zippered sleeping bag, stick yourself through the nylon hammock mesh, and squirt the nearest bush. This also comes in handy for marking your territory against racoons and bears. Bears get hungry in the Sierra Nevada, especially with large Sausage-looking human-beings in hammocks dangling between two trees.

Girls, I'm sorry. I guess I forgot to mention, you shouldn't have drank those last two cups of campfire-warmed cocoa! Without the proper "gear" you are shit-outta-luck!

Next Week: The sound of the wind hissing in the pine needles and the gentle glow of the campfire. What could be better?